Split the Apple
Split the apple, change the chip
Move the wire, solder it
Add a little something new
One more thing your phone can do
Trace the circuit, careful cut
Close the case, snap it shut
Power up, locate the app
Tap the icon: 'Take No Crap'
Stood away from rush hour crowd
Isolated talking loud
HTC in jacket pocket
Apple out for scum to clock it
Moped rider eyes his prize
Dollar signs in place of eyes
Mounts the pavement moving fast
Grabs the phone while speeding past
Owner seems too shocked to grapple
Rider gets a brand new apple
Man retrieves his HTC
Selects the contact: TNC
Watches vermin race away
Got a shock for him today
Thus, when clear from one and all
Single thumb press makes the call
Rider answers with a grin
Places phone beside his chin
One handed, speeds the dotted line
Get lost, Pal, this phone is mine
Then a small explosive rumble
Moped rider takes a tumble
Doesn't stir and doesn't stand
Got no head and got no hand
Split the apple, change the chip
Move the wire, solder it
Add a little something new
One more thing your phone can do
Trace the circuit, careful cut
Close the case, snap it shut
Power up, locate the app
Tap the icon: 'Take No Crap'
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