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Souper's Lament

ghosts of the world befriended me
a silence borne of secrecy
ghosts of the world befriended me
to share in their love of revery

ghosts of the world are blind to me
comments section all I see
ghosts of the world are blind to me
though they call me family

ghosts of the world won't hear my plea
we live and die by our own decree
ghosts of the world won't hear my plea
mired in blah mediocrity

ghosts of the world do not live free
attention seekers' comment spree
ghosts of the world do not live free
a silence borne of secrecy

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Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 1/19/2012 1:49:00 PM

Wishing you would grace us with some new poetry soon. You are missed Yoni. Love, Carol

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 4/8/2011 12:25:00 PM

I have stopped by to read some of your amazing poetry today Yoni. I hope to be back soon to read them again. I wish you the best with your writing always. Love, Carol

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 6/8/2010 5:10:00 PM

It's an almost pantoum! Any way hey! Miss you..glad you're a happy married man with little need for us. Youknow it's not your best work but hey someimes we have to just ..start....prime the pump! And youcan see you're very missed. Light & Love

Yoni Dvorkis

Date: 6/7/2010 8:00:00 PM

Really it's this poem that's blah mediocre. it's so simple in it's rhymes and rhythm, the pacing is obvious and passes more for a song jingle than an actual poem that a poet would write. I'd like to think I'm more complex than the guy who wrote this but I guess I'm not.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 6/4/2010 7:12:00 AM

Interesting topic that you have chosen for this write..Keep the creative pen flowing..Sara

Date: 5/5/2010 8:57:00 AM

The repetition works well to make your point. Much for the reader to ponder about--I've already read it twice. I, for one, appreciate you here at The Soup. You are a talented writer. Keep that pen of yours flowing!! Thank you for stopping by to comment. Karen

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 4/20/2010 5:26:00 AM

Yoni, it has indeed been awhile since I have seen you post. I always enjoy reading your poetry. I for one can not tell you that you are doing something wrong in what you write. I am not a professional writer. But I do believe that if you write from your heart you are being true to yourself and to your poetry as the heart is where the best poetry comes from. I do feel that you do write from the heart as you are an amazing poet Yoni. Love, Carol

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 4/20/2010 12:32:00 AM

Yoni,even in this sticky black soup I can see the best plate of spaghetti in sugo di nero:)..Yoni..re attention seeking..I dnt know if being happy when someone leaves me a nice comment on my poetry makes me an attention seeker..:)in that case it could be I am..:)..Yoni you are a great writer..and it mirrors in your verse..Charma

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 4/20/2010 12:25:00 AM

Hope Im not a black fussilli in your soup Yoni:)..When I leave you a comment I always leave it from my heart..and after i try to read your thoughts or others till their core,Hope you won't be a Ghost on this site dear friend..I love your poetry and its originality..There is always somethingwhich touches my insight..of soul..Re negative comments Im not good in making them to anyone,I don't feel them as constructive ..Maybe Im wrong but its the way Im molded, ..cont..

Doris Culverhouse

Date: 4/19/2010 2:55:00 PM

Enjoyed reading today!!

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 4/19/2010 2:41:00 PM

Yoni, there are some folks who try to build up their own self images with their comments, but not all Soup members are like that. Some actually enjoy reading poetry and offering their thoughts on the writers' meanings. Please don't continue to be a "ghost" who is absent from the Soup. However, if it gives you this much grief, I understand. Love, Carolyn

Yoni Dvorkis

Date: 4/19/2010 11:53:00 AM

Indeed I need this type of feedback so that I can hold myself accountable to this way of thinking. I don't mean to implicate all soupers in this behavior though I have definitely seen it in action many times since I joined a year and a half ago. The truth is I feel like the attention seeking whiny ghost and I cannot really speak to anyone else's wishes. I just needed someone here to hold up the mirror so I can see how pathetic I really look posting something like this.