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Soul Expansion

Stone winds are all in place Filling entire surreal space They are as if by divine grace The mind they have in embrace By stone winds number soul percolates through abyss From there it continues to percolate until it reaches final bliss Where by Goddess she is given a kiss With cave of elements acting as to mouth of abyss epiglottis But what if this bizarre percolation Beyond imagination Is just an element to next soul’s formation? And this process continues until it finds per maximal dimension’s location

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 9/17/2013 11:41:00 AM
I like where you are headed with this piece, and I enjoyed the metaphor of "stone wind", but I think you overuse the verb "percolate". Your rhymes are also not as tight or succinct as they could be, and I think if you reworded it some, evened out the metre and prosody, you would have a stunning piece of poetry :)
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