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Something Real?

*This poem is intended to be read centre aligned*



See 
a 
penny, 
pick it up,
And all the day 
you’ll have good luck,
Or use it to purchase private thoughts,
An evening of thrills and spills and nasty shocks,
Or maybe even give it away, But you’re left
feeling cheaper, And debts due to pay,
You know the worst guilt 
isn’t the lies you told 
your friends,
Or your mother
with her trusting eyes,
It’s the lies you told yourself,
Reality blurs,
You’re
drunk 
on 
denial,
Stumbling, fumbling,
Through rotting records of an aching brain,
A walking disaster, A walking cliché,
She taught you to laugh 
at the absurd,
So you laugh 
at yourself,
And the 
ugliness dulls,
But the fear’s still left,
Hold it down, 
Bind it up, 
Bury it
deep,
It’s 
not 
healthy,
But it’s easy,
Pray it heals itself
while you 
sleep,
And 
you’re
so tired 
of being tired,
The drugs don’t help,
They were placebos anyway,
Oh how they stick in your throat,
The pills are piling up, Making mountains 
in your stomach, Filling up your pipe,
Full to bursting, Or that’s how 
you account for the pain 
at least,
Purge 
it with your pen,
The paper’s heavy 
with word 
vomit,
Cry it,
Sweat it,
Bleed it out,
Your temple lies unchanged,
Frozen bones and hardened vessels,
A veritable statue, With a pretty face and granite for guts,
They said religion is for the dying and the desperate,
Well we’re all dying anyway,
I’m desperate 
for the truth,
Clinging 
onto 
saving graces, 
And slowly losing grip,
Hard to guess how bad 
you’re broken,
It’s been 
years 
since you were whole,
Watch 
them bask 
in your phantom light,
Beautiful mind or beautiful soul –
They say it’s in the eye of the beholder,
But I’m decomposing inside out,
You can’t measure what 
you can’t see,
Hold your 
judgement, 
shut your mouth,
So turn away from love,
Affection, empathy,
Wound’s salt,
Because you know
that they can’t change it,
And you know 
it’s all your 
fault.

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