So Many Girls

Friends look at me proud when I tell them I've been with so many girls, and have so many stories
But here I am alone, as I haven't found the girl that's for me
I've had my heart broken and I've broken hearts too
But here I am sitting alone with alcohol and love songs in this dark room 

Looking back I'm ashamed of the life I've been leading 
I used girls as a bandage for a scar that's still bleeding 
I thought I had the right to go from girl to girl due to my dad leaving 
How could we ever be on the same page when I wasn't interested in reading?

I'm tired of pointless sex and meaningless flings 
I hope one day I'll find a queen and be strong enough to be her king
My parents not showing me love, means that when people do, I don't know what to make of it
Have I been unlucky in love or am I just bad at relationships? 

I act like I was the only young person who was broken and insecure 
I closed my heart for so long, I don't think I've been this open before 
I'm sorry to every girl I've dated who was hoping for more
I need to learn to love me, so you were right by closing the door

Hopefully one day when a girl shows me she cares I won't run 
I don't want to be with so many girls, and a part of so many stories, I want to write a book with one
One day I'll accept love and find the perfect girl for me
I won't hide these pages, but I'm done with being involved with so many girls and so many stories
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Krutsinger Avatar
July 6, 2020 at 12:07 AM
There is an amazing honesty in this. I hope you find her.
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