Smiling In Heaven

You're smiling when I think of you, yet in reality you were sad. Burying your grief in a glass of Dutch courage....let down again by dad. You are laughing when I think of you, yet in reality you seemed to cry - hands wringing with anxiety, ....teardrops sting your eyes......... We were happy when I think of you. Childhood innocence blinding pain. Rainy holidays in England, or drinking sangria in Spain! When did the sadness start then? How could I have been blind? When did the laughter turn to hurt. When did sorrow shroud your mind? You nearly told me something not long before you died, but we were interrupted and you kept it all inside. We didn't really talk again - there wasn't any time. Just that phone call saying you were ill, no time to say goodbye. Yet in my dreams you're happy. Earthly misery dissolved. Worldly differences all mended, and arguments resolved. Perhaps the lesson's this then, that when all seems lost and dark, when relationships are broken and life has lost its spark, in death we are united, and love melts all the pain. We can only smile in heaven and happy memories remain.