Small Trigger

Why is it so hard, to move on to a new Chapter of my life? Why do I get stuck in the past, when my hopes are gone. Well, I cant go on, living like this. Turning these pages, they make no sense. Why does history repeat? Why cant things change? I tried my best. But wasn't good enough for her. My life never changes. People see the same thing. No matter what smile I have on. I'm never one of the group, but always stand out. So I sit here writing my pains. Of loss of friends, Loss of hope, and loss of self. I say to myself is my next step worth it? Then I reply... We'll see when I turn this page, and pull this Small Trigger. Bang...