Shingles and Me

Shingles is something I live with daily Chosen for me by whom? I have no idea. I doubt it is my choice, as it is painful. My skin is tender; shingles is red, raw, sore, and rough. This disease is something I try to forget about every day. I can push it back into the farthest corners of my brain. If I am deeply engaged in painting, cartooning, or writing. But then BAM it comes back in full force, unbidden, unwelcome. This malady is something I have lived with for over two years. My doctor has told me it might be until the end of my life. I remember staring at a bottle of morphine and codeine one time. The doctor had warned me if I took them both, I would die. I was in enough pain at that moment to almost do it. I have no idea why I didn’t. I threw the morphine pills away, so I cannot ever be tempted with that again. In case the pain gets worse.