She Is a Delight I Lied

Gertrude is the sexiest thing I have ever seen! The dolphin told me, and not to be mean. He did not know I had a crush on him. So I went out with him to the Keys for a swim. I expected to see a svelte siren or pretty mermaid Here in the midst of Florida’s non-Everglade. But when I saw who she was I thought how can this be? My handsome dolphin is in love with a manatee? Isn’t she beautiful? Dooey the Dolphin asked with a sigh. If he’s enamored with this he’s certainly not really my guy. Gertrude the manatee is a blob lump of chubby gray flesh. She does not wear Spanx or any kind of hold-it-in mesh. “She is a delight,” I lied through my pie hole, staring at the scene. This is his princess, his desired, his true love? His queen? I left him there, swimming in the ocean with the big fatty. Hopefully in telling this tale, I’m not being too catty.