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Self-Fulfilling Fear

I chewed my fingernails to the nubs
and then worked on all my fingers
until my hand had only stubs. 
I'm nervous, and the feeling lingers.
I'm hiding in the shrubs.

I've got heebie-jeebies so severe,
I bit off both my hands and each arm.
What is causing all this fear,
that I would engage in this self-harm?
I'm so afraid I'll disappear.

fearrhyme

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Gershon Wolf

September 21, 2026 at 9:38 PM

I'm concerned about 'part two' of this poem. What's gonna rhyme with 'shoulders?' - Oh, I suppose, 'getting older.' So proceed, maestro! :) gw

David Crandall

September 22, 2026 at 8:12 AM

Let's see: My dread fear of growing older / caused me to eat my shoulder / I continued furthermoreso / and consumed my entire torso / I said a final prayer / then ate my head and all my hair / Things had progressed so far South / the only thing left was my big mouth.

CayCay Godwin

September 21, 2026 at 5:52 PM

Have you been with Steven King? He wrote a short story about a surgeon who, alone, was moving heroin on his boat that capsized on small island w/ no food sources at all. In time, he used the drugs so he could cut off his toes, cook & eat them, then fingers were french fries, feet - subs, eventually he was a nub. Story was hard to shake off. I shared all that because I don't know how to respond to your write. No words are coming forth. I've shifted into neutral. Should I delete this? DO NOT DELETE WRITE

CayCay Godwin

September 21, 2026 at 8:30 PM

I'm not traumatized but I am disappointed that I didn't pick up on the clues in your first lines, your fingernail biting, I wish I'd realized what was right there. BUT all too quickly the Steven King surgeon was in my head. Check Soup Mail, I've written you a novel. You know, as overly simplistic as this sounds, sometimes it helps me to 'fake it until I make it' or, more aptly, "... until it's over"

David Crandall

September 21, 2026 at 7:30 PM

Haha, when you talk about somebody else writing stuff like that it seems horrible and gross - lol. I don't know what came over me*, but I'm sorry that I've traumatized you. Yes, better write, that will help you process the trauma of this poem - lol.

David Crandall

September 21, 2026 at 7:30 PM

*Actually, I think I do know what inspired me. I have horrible stage fright, and last Friday, I did an "open mic" in my retirement community. I read a poem, and the MC scheduled me second to last. I was so nervous during the whole show, that I was massively doing all kinds of crazy hand-wringing and finger twiddling, etc. etc.