Sarah

Outside the dirty spider web-framed window the gentle cooing of the morning doves 
lightly feathered the young girl’s senses to an awareness of the new day.
     Her soft blonde eye lashes fluttered against the course  texture of the dark tan pillow 
case and an involuntary moan escaped her pinkish lips. As her sleep-cemented eyelids broke 
open, she peered down at the yellowed once white sheets tangled around her thin white legs. 
     “Coo coo.” There it was again. She loved the little pair of birds that woke her almost 
every morning of late. She thought they sounded a little sad though. “Maybe they can’t find 
their Mommy “, she mused aloud.
    She rolled over on her back and kicked off her sheets. Her favorite doll came into view 
bringing a slight smile to her face. The doll used to suck it’s thumb but that arm had been 
missing for a while now. She hugged her little friend remembering she had received it as a gift for her third birthday a long time ago. She reassured herself that she was a big girl 
now and slowly counted aloud the four fingers she had raised up in front of her too pale face.
    

(beginning of a future short story) I welcome your comments positive or negative. Thank you.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010



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Date: 8/6/2010 11:56:00 AM
Descriptive and alluring as an opening paragraph..Thanks for stopping and commenting on my work...Sara
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Date: 7/29/2010 3:28:00 AM
Hi Robert, Well written start of a short story, dear friend! You should post more of it on soup! And thank you for your comments! Have a nice day and keep your creative pen flowing...Gert
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Date: 7/28/2010 4:14:00 PM
Robert, thank you for your comments on my last two poems...I almost blush, but won't since we both know that we are only the transmitter for the True Poet. I feel the grace of that gift every time the inspiration occurs. And yes, I am familiar with Desiderata (you're dating us both with that reference). Interesting the comparison of that with Avatar. Gives it a whole other dimension. Thank you very much.
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Date: 7/27/2010 1:55:00 PM
A year is a long time in the life of a child. I do love childrens poetry and stories. A very clever and well written opening for a book, Robert. Love, Dave
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Date: 7/26/2010 10:57:00 PM
Robert, your gift for setting tone and creating mood is un-equaled, in my view. This is an excellent start. You're suggesting something, opening a mystery, and it's quite compelling.
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Date: 7/25/2010 3:15:00 PM
I'm wondering why this little girl is so pale, Robert. You have created a vivid image to begin a short story. The reader already gets a sense that this little girl hs something troubling her, perhaps illness. Please keep me posted as you write this story so I can read the rest of it. I'm having a nice vacation. Thanks for your kind comments. Love, Carolyn
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Date: 7/24/2010 8:05:00 PM
it's going to be terribly sad isn't it, but I'm dying to read more
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