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Road Trip On Fall Day

. road trip on fall day highway under construction... powerful tar scent

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 11/12/2012 2:45:00 PM
I could almost smell that tar - very clever haiku, Sara
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Date: 11/11/2012 5:10:00 PM
nice one, thnx for sharing!! Jag
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Date: 11/11/2012 2:48:00 PM
Some roads can be a hazart, A very nice expressed Haiku poem. Thanks for sharing it.God bless you. Hugs! Erich
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Date: 11/11/2012 1:21:00 PM
Lovely and thoughtful as always, well done ... love your haiku Sara. Having a nice Sunday afternoon. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 11/11/2012 12:05:00 PM
I love the smell of asphalt in the morning. That's what I do.
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Date: 11/11/2012 11:12:00 AM
This is a wonderful and very delightful write my friend! I really enjoyed reading this enlightening and phenomenal poem this afternoon! What a fun poem Sara, I was pleasantly surprised by this write! Great Work!!
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Date: 11/11/2012 11:09:00 AM
Is this where you wanted constructive criticism, Sara. This is nice but not one of my faves of your haiku. When you do a really good one, I always let you know!! For me, this one sounds more like cause and effect haiku. But I enjoyed the way you added "scent" to it.
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Date: 11/11/2012 9:31:00 AM
Line 3 is very powerfull, nice to draw SCENT in [a fall highway steams/while under construction--] see how the verb gramtically ties line 1 & 2 together? right now you have 3 parts, you need two. two prepositional phrases would join also /gramatically but I can't think of how to do that with this right now ;) PS I know the Eve wwrite was a bit befuddling if you let me know just where you lost the thread..I will work more on it L & L
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Date: 11/11/2012 7:55:00 AM
i can smell the tar, sara.. well constructed 'ku!, real solid write!.. :) huggs
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Date: 11/11/2012 7:33:00 AM
is progress our most important product?
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