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Road Trip On Fall Day

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road trip on fall day
              highway under construction...
                                       powerful tar scent

lifehaiku

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Jack Horne

November 12, 2012 at 2:45 PM

I could almost smell that tar - very clever haiku, Sara

S.Jagathsimhan Nair

November 11, 2012 at 5:10 PM

nice one, thnx for sharing!! Jag

Erich Goller

November 11, 2012 at 2:48 PM

Some roads can be a hazart, A very nice expressed Haiku poem. Thanks for sharing it.God bless you. Hugs! Erich

Anne-Lise Andresen

November 11, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Lovely and thoughtful as always, well done ... love your haiku Sara. Having a nice Sunday afternoon. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

Russell Sivey

November 11, 2012 at 11:12 AM

This is a wonderful and very delightful write my friend! I really enjoyed reading this enlightening and phenomenal poem this afternoon! What a fun poem Sara, I was pleasantly surprised by this write! Great Work!!

Andrea Dietrich

November 11, 2012 at 11:09 AM

Is this where you wanted constructive criticism, Sara. This is nice but not one of my faves of your haiku. When you do a really good one, I always let you know!! For me, this one sounds more like cause and effect haiku. But I enjoyed the way you added "scent" to it.

Debbie Guzzi

November 11, 2012 at 9:31 AM

Line 3 is very powerfull, nice to draw SCENT in [a fall highway steams/while under construction--] see how the verb gramtically ties line 1 & 2 together? right now you have 3 parts, you need two. two prepositional phrases would join also /gramatically but I can't think of how to do that with this right now ;) PS I know the Eve wwrite was a bit befuddling if you let me know just where you lost the thread..I will work more on it L & L