Ringing
Ring Ring Ring
i feel the phone vibrating the sound rings deep into my mind
My girlfriends curious stares as i see the caller ID
my thumb slides up painfully slow, towards the ignore button that seems miles away
Its done
I breathe deep as she asks for an explanation, a reason for my response
and can say nothing
She looks at me, her eyes prying into my soul
"An old friend nothing more"
But Her eyes tell me she feels it
I look down at the now blank phone as i contemplate my decision
And the consequences of it.
Ring Ring Ring
A new message, another new message
My eyes burning as i hit the delete button.
No need to hear it, no need to open the door to temptation
A decision made, a decision to be kept i assure myself.
My palms start to sweat as it clenches around my phone,
The plastic and cheap materials threatening to break.
Release, sweet release, its all i need.
A way to let go, let go of it all
But alas its too late.
Ring Ring Ring
My head throbs at the sound at the thought, at the idea
I look at the phone and see
Its not her
Release? a Snapping point like plastic cracking
An ending to the hallway
A door locked and sealed after so much time?
I hope not
Ring Ring Ring
Its in my head now, a phone long since silent
My girlfriend walks beside me with a knowing stare
I am no longer there.
Here i am, millions of miles away in my own thought
Thoughts of past, thoughts of present
And thoughts of the perfect future
Perfect future?
An Oxi moron if ever there was one
The Future is not about the good
Of the Great wonderful and perfect!
Its the balance of the good and the bad
The good to smile each morning
And the bad to make the good feel great
Is this ringing, a sign of how great things truly are?
One Pain, one hurt, a scar not on my skin,
the perfection of this imperfect world
of my imperfect world?
Ring Ring Ring
A scenario played through my head many times
a key found for the door in the hallway
a conversation of drama, angst and history
A scenario doomed to stay in my head
Pride, my foolish pride prevents the call
My word holds a promise made in anger
Ring Ring Ring
I wait for a call, and one accidental acceptance of it all
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