Repetition

Repetition


by Edmund Siejka


In the window 
He caught a glimpse of his reflected face
Pale from being indoors
Day after day.

Something made him think about 
Way back when
Was it the smell of cheap food? 
Or a sudden bell like noise?
That brought him back 
To school
And a 
Tough kid named Joey.

One day during recess he felt someone behind him
Turning he saw 
Joey’s clenched fist
Aimed at his face
Grinning, he said
“I could punch you Tommy and no one would care.”

Instinctively, he pushed the fist away
The teacher on yard duty noticed something wrong 
And asked why he did that
She explained that sort of behavior would not be tolerated 
And angrily wrote a note to his parents. 

His mother was upset, “Tommy why did you do that?”
His father lectured him about fighting in school.

That night he couldn’t sleep
Feeling a weight on his chest
But he remembered what his grandmother
Taught him 
And heard her voice gently telling him 
“Let it go, let it go.”

Slowly breathing in and out he closed his eyes,
Repeating the words over and over
Reaching a deep sleep 
And in the morning, the memory of it was really nothing at all.

A few years later Joey, a head taller and heavier, 
Was on the high school football team
The two would occasionally exchange nods
Changing classes
But nothing more than that.

One late afternoon as he was leaving school 
Some rough boys, not from the neighborhood,
Pushed him, knocking his books to the ground.
Words were said
Threats made
And then suddenly  
A shadow hovered over the group.

Joey had just finished football practice
Hand curled in a fist, he said
“I could beat all of you and no one would care.”

When the boys left
Joey spoke to him
“Tommy, you’re OK
You never snitched back then. I could have gotten in real trouble but you kept your mouth shut.”
Tommy, too, had never forgotten the incident.

That night he couldn’t sleep
Feeling a weight on his chest
But he remembered what his grandmother
Taught him 
And heard her voice gently telling him 
“Let it go, let it go.”

Slowly breathing in and out he closed his eyes,
Repeating the words over and over 
Reaching a deep sleep
And in the morning, the memory of it was really nothing at all.

Finished with his meal
Tommy, now an older Thomas, left the restuarant
Outside, sensing a morning bright and clear
He wondered what ever happened
To a tough kid named Joey.

Copyright © Edmund Siejka | Year Posted 2019

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