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Protected Sips

rock to rock small sips red winged blackbird takes leaning towards the sun, Iris protects.... seed to seed small sips bluegill takes below the surface, shadows protect.... bar to bar small sips humans take battered and bruised, memories protect....

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Denis Joe

Date: 7/11/2009 11:18:00 AM

This is a good piece of poetry. I used to have an aversion to the lack of capitals but I am getting more open-minded about it. This read strongly. The visual - mental and actual – works really well. That you avoid the definite article and have adjective and verb use as a minimum is a great way of writing: minimalist and uncluttered. But also a degree of self-confidence as well as a healthy respect for the reader.

Heidie Buys

Date: 7/10/2009 6:47:00 AM

Thought provoking and introspective, love the format. Very well done. Regards Heidie

Brian Strand

Date: 7/10/2009 12:05:00 AM

Like the kyrielle flavour here Jim.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments today.

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 7/9/2009 8:21:00 PM

Beautiful images throughout this incredible write, James! And I like the way you describe those things that offer protection. Excellent poem! Love, Carolyn

Carrie Richards

Date: 7/9/2009 6:46:00 PM

This introspective poem....quite thought provoking, and insightful, sadly true....excellent comparisons...