Protected Sips

rock to rock
       small sips

                  red winged blackbird takes

leaning towards the sun, 
Iris protects....

seed to seed
      small sips

                  bluegill takes

below the surface,
shadows protect....

bar to bar
      small sips
                  humans take

battered and bruised,
memories protect....

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



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Date: 7/11/2009 11:18:00 AM
This is a good piece of poetry. I used to have an aversion to the lack of capitals but I am getting more open-minded about it. This read strongly. The visual - mental and actual – works really well. That you avoid the definite article and have adjective and verb use as a minimum is a great way of writing: minimalist and uncluttered. But also a degree of self-confidence as well as a healthy respect for the reader.
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Date: 7/10/2009 6:47:00 AM
Thought provoking and introspective, love the format. Very well done. Regards Heidie
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Date: 7/10/2009 12:05:00 AM
Like the kyrielle flavour here Jim.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments today.
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Date: 7/9/2009 8:21:00 PM
Beautiful images throughout this incredible write, James! And I like the way you describe those things that offer protection. Excellent poem! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 7/9/2009 6:46:00 PM
This introspective poem....quite thought provoking, and insightful, sadly true....excellent comparisons...
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