Pave the Adirondacks

They told me, "Leave Brooklyn, find the green," "Head upstate, change the scene," Nature's arms open wide, So I took that long Amtrak ride. I knew there were bobcats, I knew there was bear So I took my pit-bull Chewbacca, any bear would beware His last victim was a carjacker on the lam. Teeth clamped on the guy's arm like a giant clam. In the heart of Adirondacks, fate took a bad turn We sat on star moss, and admired a fern Chewbacca sniffed at a critter with predacious design But it was a badass porcupine My dog's nose looked like a pincushion of quills He ran off howling into the hills I ran after him and into a swamp I fell, Green goo in my shoes, oh man, what a smell. Covered with slime, then came the stings of black flies Already I wondered if the hype was lies. Yanked my way out, walked on bees in the ground I thought bees were in trees, but nature had to confound I say pave the Adirondacks, let concrete reign, Nature’s wild, and slightly insane. From swamps to thorns, bees on attack, Brooklyn’s rough, but these woods fight back. Off the trail, stumbled through deer remains, Leaned on a tree but found only pain. Thorns from the bark, I couldn’t win, What did I do to deserve this, can't recall the sin! (Bridge) I ran screaming, poison ivy on my socks Twisted my leg among diabolical rocks Crawled back to a trail, where help was found, A hiker gawked, said, “Bro, you’re hospital-bound.” (Chorus) Pave the Adirondacks, let concrete reign, Nature’s wild, and slightly insane. From swamps to thorns, bees on attack, Brooklyn’s rough, but these woods fight back. Now I'm back in the city, but nature wasn't through Doc says I have Lyme disease, I wish I could sue. Nature’s beauty nowhere near the beauty of a bar I'll stay on the mean streets and drag race my car. So pave the mountains, pave the trees, Brooklyn’s jungle is enough for me. Nature's call? Just a John Denver song Here with the homeboys, I can't go wrong.