Christine Phillips Poet Prose Poetry

Patterns

I pinch myself to see if I was alive
for that day she should have died.
I pinch myself to see if I was alive
But all she felt was blood running down her side.
I pinch myself to see if I was alive
But nobody came to her home	
And she was trapped in the wilderness all alone,
with toys spread out on the ground breathless
and the ventriloquizes grasping for breath
someone must have squeezed the life out of them 
for heaven was their only friend, they didn’t have
a voice of their own and they lie there speechless
without a frown. They must have made it to the sky
 following that painful plight, and when she was herself
again, she fell on her knees begging for mercy
It’s like the dejavu of her youth 
when she was walking without shoe
and dr. Josef Mengele
 genetic abnormality experiment
saw many children suddenly escaping to heaven 
and their shoes were left in the streets.
The voices are a part of her and they are real 
They often come and go and they were part of the show.
The voices tell her to kill and all of a sudden, the voice become still
Kill, kill, kill are the voice of the tall man in workshop number six
And his son does it for profit when he orders the dogs to kill
 They attack people up and down the street, 
Disrupting the town’s heartbeat
the British sky news can tell you about it
for they too have archived it
 and there is much evidence for it
 She did hear the voice to kill.
The voices are real, but her spirit was weak
And she could not overcome the feat.
I lost myself in time, searching for the divine 
I need not say anymore lest the universe shove me out the door.
Her heart is strong, but she has destroyed the innocent ones
And her life will never be the same, for it is a woman’s “game”
Women all over have experienced it 
and they too have done it, 
in other ways you might not know  
unless you are part of the home
and so the law must change for the game to change
its bigger than me and you the victims without shoes.
She is just waking up from a slumber
when day had braked in the past ten hours
wearing the wrong pair of shoes 
she thought that God would come that day
but he came when she was not a part of the world
and she found herself traveling in a speed boat
but when she woke up she was in fact in the hospital bed
with lots of pillar tucked beneath her head
but she was not dead and the pattern stucked  in her head
the pattern relived her from the memory of that awful night
the pattern turns the darkness into light
the pattern saved her life and the pattern
free her from that terrible plight
the pattern is right,
so the law must change before midnight.

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