Past Tense and Future Sense

I used to believe that death maybe easier, my only escape. The only way out of everything I hate. But suicide is not my fate. So I looked at what I came from: A family broke of money, broke of love, broke from any belief that someones up above. Listening to our prayers. Tired of being stuck with these feelings, I express myself through this pen. Over again and again, I bleed out all my sin. My scream is silent but then again, that was taken from me long ago. Now I write out loud. The only way I cans stand out of the crowd. For me. I hope my mothers proud, hope she sees. When I was down on the ground, beat. The only thing I found was the need for a sound, a voice. But there was silence. Hopeless, I made a choice That led me into violence. So I took the ground because there's no one there to catch you when your falling. No one there to listen when your calling. Remanicing on that night I was out walking, best friend at my side just talking. Not knowing about the people behind us stalking. I watched as his life flashed in front of his eyes. In the wrong place at the wrong time. I thank God for allowing him to survive. Now I say NO when the homies want to ride. See, your life is built from your past tense. It's how you deal with your past that gives your future sense. Hence: Past tense and future sense.