Participation Medal

Out of curiosity, will I win a medal when I leave? Or get the key that unlocks the golden city, that I’m living to die, just to see? When I go will you greet me with an endless scroll of all my human mistakes? Where repenting was never a choice that proved easy to make. Or will you embrace me with a hug and welcome me into your Kingdom of love? I wonder if you ever think you made a second mistake when making us. As you created them, multiplied them, destroyed them, and said you wanted to start a new without sin. So you appointed a human to do an earthly bidding for you while you destroyed your self made civilization of sinners in their undue. Only to start a new, with selected few, chosen for an ark. Kept alive to re-start and rebuild a world you angrily tore apart. I wonder if you sometimes throw a fit and cast a bolt of lightning from your fingertips, like just a reminder you still run this. Do you see us as the ugly part of a creation that was never meant to sustain a life in damnation? While giving us hope that changes our indignation so we lean more into you and grow closer to the realization none of this is a permanent situation. Still, you expect us to choose to be righteous as you lived. Then break ourselves from chains you ultimately created, to prove to you we are worthy of the life you once took away and then graciously gave us. I guess I’ll have to wait and see the type of life you deemed I lived. If it was worthy or littered about with sins and no confessions. So I ask, will I win a medal for my participation?