Notes About The Poem

Dedicated to the big Canuck himself, Willy Whitehouse.

Pare' pronounced Parry is short for Paremoremo. A small village community in New Zealand.

Listen to poem:

Pare' Cricket Ground

The fire was lit before we played                  
       and many a big boast was made                 
but that dumb Canuck looked afraid         
     and skites soon turned to shames.                             
Facin’ Skeet at the PCG                              
   he was scared and blind as can be                   
cos you can’t hit what you can’t see          
              and down he went in flames                          

But like the Phoenix he got up                   
and from his beer had one more sup         
   wishin’ like hell he had a cup                      
                        or box to protect him.                        
But the very next ball he’d face                  
             was a yorker at his shoelace                        
honin’ in at frightenin’ pace                       
             and things were lookin’ grim.                             

Oh see the boy from Kitimat             
         jumpin’ up and down like a cat                 
on a hot tin roof with his bat                   
                          like a hack tailender.                              
Before he retire hurt or worse                    
            and need a doctor or a nurse                                                   
I gave him one more fu*kin’ burst            
                and asked “you surrender?”                           

For whether clean bowled or an edge        
he’d lose it and begin to sledge                  
           or unfair dismissal allege                             
              as his tremblin’ knees shook.                        
I knew he was hurtin’ real bad               
        and runnin’ his mouth all he had  
so vowed the boy from Trinidad           
                        “I’ll fix this big Canuck”.               

As the "Ashes" in us did burn
      soon at the crease it was my turn
and for him a lesson to learn
                          like in the Rangi nets.
You don't bowl to Skeet in the slot
           or give him time to play a shot
when he shouts "gimme all you got"
                     and smashes all he gets.                  
    
As the cricket lesson went on
           it was like bowlin' to "The Don"
and with any false hope all gone
               to cheap shots he did stoop.
It's no place for the faint hearted
                but I ended what he started
when the next ball I high carted
                         over the chicken coop.

The poor bastard all battle scarred
tried to bury me the tryhard
but learned why in Trestrail's backyard
                I’m called “The Gravedigger”.
Swingin’ my bat like a broadsword 
         he was outplayed and overawed
but a crushin’ loss he ignored
                        and just couldn’t figure.

It was like the boasts of our youth
        but you don't have to be a sleuth
to discern bullsh*t from the truth
                            but boy ain’t it funny.
And so still as back in the day
until stumps or bad light stopped play
lives the legend of Skeet, hooray
                         and his Canuck bunny!
      

          Written: March 2014
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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