Paranoid

I've left you feeling paranoid?
Aww, isn't that a real shame,
you don't give me a reason to trust you
with you, I throw the blame.

I can not forgive or forget
things you've put me through,
you've hurled your hate toward me
what am I supposed to do?

You treat me like I'm sh!t
I've been a part of your life,
it wasn't me, that slept around
blame that on your ex wife.

You go on and brag
about girlfriends you had in the past,
I'm my own individual person
I feel this relationship won't last.

You call me a wh*re
with every chance you get,
try looking it up in a dictionary
you'll find the real meaning, yet.

You don't know the real meaning
stop pretending you are smart,
I'm smarter than you give me credit for
you're an ugly work of art.

Try being a real man
someone I can trust,
stop looking at other women
after them, I know you lust.

Stop your damned rubbernecking
you can pretend you don't look,
I'm glad you feel paranoid
I can read you like an open book.

I want to trust you
but I don't think I ever can,
stop doing sh!t behind my back
stand up and be a real man.

I know I'm not that pretty
stop rubbing it in my face,
it's what counts on the inside
you look at me in disgrace.

I am happy you are paranoid
it serves you damn well right,
stop thinking about other women
maybe I'll give up this fight.

You don't give me a reason to trust you
with you, I throw the blame,
I've left you feeling paranoid?
Aww, isn't that a real shame.

Copyright Cynthia Jones
Apr.29/2015

This is what my depression does to me. It makes me write exactly how I feel. It's not a good thing, because I don't want this to come out. I've kept this sh!t bottled up for years and if writing about it releases my stress...I'll write. It's better than lying to myself, knowing damn well, my life is not all fine and dandy.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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