Painful Lesson

I was once suicidal 
for a long period of time.
Overdosing daily.
Cutting at night.
Standing in the middle of the road
waiting for the impact.
Being pulled out of the way
right before the crash.

I prayed and prayed
for the day I died.
I planned and planned
for my suicide.

This week I realized something
that I never knew before.
How suicide affects everyone
and how painful it is when they mourn.

This lesson was taught to me
in the worst possible way.
Losing my Grandpa.
But now I pray.
Dear Lord,
take care of my Grandfather 
and keep him at a peaceful rest.
Watch over my family
and help us cope to his death.
Amen.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Golden Avatar
November 21, 2009 at 3:17 PM
Erica, first, let me say that I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are feeling, as I've lost two people close to me in the past five years. Second, thank you for this important piece. Hopefully someone will read it and see their lives in a new way. Finally, thank you for your relevant comments on my blog. You are loved, always remember that. Hugs, Donna
Sheart Avatar
November 20, 2009 at 5:02 PM
So good to see you writing dear Erica. So sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I know it hurts but you can see how the loss of losing someone we love comes with such sorrow for all loved one's. It does my heart good to hear you say that here. Also, I Love Sara's comments below. I would like to invite you to read Donna's blog where everyone gives their hearts to what it means to live with overwhelming thoughts. May help. If you need someone to talk to, you can e-mail me. Take care hun. Patty
Kendrick Avatar
November 20, 2009 at 4:27 PM
Admitting there is a problem and seeing the effect on others is the beginning of the rehab of a person so afflicted. Talk to someone. Keep writing for that helps. Sara
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