Our Lives

We struggle to reach Just what is out of reach And yet we continue To bleakly seek We follow the used paths Laid out before us Don’t stray, for our Wants we must suppress You must do this You must become this This is who you are Do not distress You are not allowed To have your own creeds To have your own ideas To have your own dreams It is already planned As what they see Forget what you thought Your life would be You love to write You love to draw They are not the plan They will not befall Do not cry Paste a smile Do not mourn Fake it all Wait, I refuse No longer shall I be Your puppet to control I’m meant to be free No longer a caterpillar But a young butterfly I spread my wings wide And soar the eternal sky Floating on a zephyr Dipping and diving I face the world As my true being I chase my dreams Like falling stars I’m no longer bound To here or far I do as I please What I was meant for Pen for the word Vessel for the sculpture

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Gabe Shelly

Date: 7/9/2013 11:22:00 PM

Art is subjective. No one can say what is bad or good, only what they like or no... I liked your poem. I think the punctuation and spacing is weird, but I like your short lines."Brevity is the soul of wit," says the Bard. Yet, who is the antogonist here? I'm brain-injured so I get confused, but is it 'they'? I have a hard time trying to understand people's poetry sometimes, especially if it's deep. It was easy writing "Death is Knocking at my Door", I've been there. This other stuff not so much.

Toshia Hall
Date: 7/11/2013 9:18:00 PM

Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I've spent my entire life being told what I should do with it and how I should do it. In this poem "they" are those who told me this. As for the spacing and punctuation, well I believe that would be me rebelling from conforming to the "typical" way to write poetry. :)

Poet Tacito

Date: 7/9/2013 5:12:00 PM

A very powerful message to be had here. I really believe we all could use more messages like this. Well done!

Toshia Hall
Date: 7/11/2013 9:19:00 PM

Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I also believe that more people should be told this message.