Chelsea StufLeben | + Follow Poet |
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Once Upon a Hundredth Time Pt 2

We are the same, but oh so different-
both intrigued by life's strange flow.

Inquisitive as to how-
my Hellish life's led to this "home".

He'd shown light upon my scars- 
in ways I'd never seen before.

He did not dismiss their depths- 
but led me to so much more.

So I traversed uncharted places-
In hopes I'd find my purpose.

And though the journey scares me- 
he assures me that it's worth it.

So I dipped my toes in first- 
and then submerged into the depths.

I took his outstretched hand-
and prayed my safety would be kept. 

Through most of my life- 
I'm the one whes giving care. 

To everyone around me- 
Always had love to spare.

So now that he is here- 
and has stooped down to hold me.

The warmth it does confuse me-
I fear such love might control me.

I seep into your skin- 
and try inhabiting this space.

There's nothing in this world- 
quite like that smile on your face.

Without much thought at all-
I'll infect you through and through.

I'm hoping that you'll catch me-
as I fall back into you.

Just as I start to trust the fall-
you step, just out of view. 

And suddenly my safety net-
escapes along with you.

Why the sudden change the heart? - 
with only hollow words to respond.

But the way your lips move- 
they paint the most enticing sounds.

I'm desperate now to feel the warmth- 
that you wrapped around my heart.

I search for any way- 
(to) revive what we had from the start. 

There's no way it just dissapeared-
with such fine in our eyes.

Or was I simply Foolish- 
to think youd want me all your life? 

What is it I keep missing? 
when people offer me their love? 

Honestly, it's probably- 
that I can't be loved at all. 

Or maybe I am just naive- 
and I just can't help myself.

When pretty smiles, speak pretty lies- 
it conveys an unfeigned help.

To think that one could care so much- 
and believe I'm worth protecting.

That someone sees these scars- 
and actually wants for me true healing.

See, all of these are ways-
of which I truly thought he felt.

And that leaves me conflicted- 
in lieu of all pain he's dealt.

Again, nobody's perfect- 
were only human after all.

But how could someone love so much- 
then motionlessly, watch me fall?

Copyright © Chelsea StufLeben | Year Posted 2023

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