Nightmare

I woke from the same disturbing nightmare again! I opened my eyes in my tiny cell. My eyes were teary, my cheeks were wet. My chest ached as if I’d been hit with a hammer. And I remembered, not that long ago, I had a good life. There was someone I loved deeply and who also loved me. But this Nightmare… I lay in a hospital room alone. I couldn’t seem to wake up. I was still aware of what was going on around me. The doctors and nurses came and went. Not seeming to know what was wrong with me. Yet they knew I was dying! There were no flowers, only one lonely card sat next to the bed. I couldn’t move or reach the card. But somehow I knew what was inside. I could see the words in my minds eye. It was Sharyl’s handwriting. The words sorry and she truly did love me but she just wasn’t strong enough to wait!! I was not able to know for sure, but I felt I was crying… The nurse came on her usual rounds, looked at my tear stained face and said “I know what’s wrong with him, he has a broken heart.” That is when I wake up, feeling such a great sadness that I wish I’d never wake up again… And if somehow I find the strength to go on, there will be no quick recovery from this Nightmare in the months and years to come. I will find all of it over and over again. The hurt, the loneliness, the deep and unspeakable sorrow will keep pushing up at the limits of my tolerance. The composure I desperately need is lost to the fears and pain that continue to live in the dark corners of my broken heart… Sharyl was more than just some woman I loved. She was my soul-mate, and the only woman I will ever love again. And if her love for me was to die then, a large part of me will die with it!