Celia St. James Poet Couplet

Never mine

I fill graves up with blood drawn from my sins,
I dig them , in my garden, in my bed, in my book
Would you absolve me ? Would my wickedness youd rinse?
I'd beg you to crucify me if you spared much as a look


Is it really love if it falls short the second I become me?
It didnt matter that I'd end up in fires when I'd flee
How chivalrous you were, but the pity alas purged
Shamelessly hopeful I still wait for your undeserving empathy to emerge


Lies unfathomable, in the prettiest one you were mine
You were my sacred sacrilege, my sincerest crime
I gave you my book, tried to trap into it your soul
You shot the bullet in me, I framed the hole


I fight wars for you, win them to see you smile
With scars I earned  for you, I die waiting down the aisle
Would you be buried next to me so I could taste you in the stomachs if the bugs?
I smoke the curses you wished me,  thrived on the high worse than drugs


You'd hate me more if you read half the things I wrote to you,
I would've torn my veins for you, something borrowed something blue. 
I paint my glasses with your lipstick, see myself through your lips
My eyes murdered the colour, too dark to see the apocalypse 


I'll see you in constellations, burning in the stars 
Id reach my hand for you but youd again and forever be too far.
The more I hurt for you, the deeper into the darkness I fall
But I'd stay in the centre of the earth than crawl to the other side, that's without you at all

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