Never Go Shopping

My mother loved to go shopping . My father hated it . They loved each other dearly but those shopping trips bring back memories for me that still make me smile . This is my version of the comedy scenes in our house following such a trip. Be a good lad Listen to your dad Run as if for your life She'll drive you mad So listen to your dad Never go shopping with a wife. You heard your mum this morning Say she needed some new shoes I wasn't given any warning Now i have the shopping blues In the first shop we entered She saw the perfect pair but she wouldn't buy Lord knows why Until we'd been everywhere. Be a good lad Listen to your dad Run as if for your life She'll drive you mad So listen to your dad Never go shopping with a wife. 6 Hours no less and she only bought a dress As you can plainly see Her bum looked big i confessed and now she's stressed and refusing to talk to me. She said i should buy a shirt I didn't mean to hurt but i begged her to leave me to my fate I'd look good in stripe or check She said would you heck and says i don't know how to co-ordinate. So be a good lad Listen to your dad Run as if for your life She'll drive you mad So listen to your dad Never go shopping with a wife.