Never Go Shopping
My mother loved to go shopping .
My father hated it . They loved each other dearly but those shopping trips
bring back memories for me that still make me smile .
This is my version of the comedy scenes in our house following such a trip.
Be a good lad
Listen to your dad
Run as if for your life
She'll drive you mad
So listen to your dad
Never go shopping with a wife.
You heard your mum this morning
Say she needed some new shoes
I wasn't given any warning
Now i have the shopping blues
In the first shop we entered
She saw the perfect pair
but she wouldn't buy
Lord knows why
Until we'd been everywhere.
Be a good lad
Listen to your dad
Run as if for your life
She'll drive you mad
So listen to your dad
Never go shopping with a wife.
6 Hours no less
and she only bought a dress
As you can plainly see
Her bum looked big i confessed
and now she's stressed
and refusing to talk to me.
She said i should buy a shirt
I didn't mean to hurt
but i begged her to leave me to my fate
I'd look good in stripe or check
She said would you heck
and says i don't know how to co-ordinate.
So be a good lad
Listen to your dad
Run as if for your life
She'll drive you mad
So listen to your dad
Never go shopping with a wife.
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