Never Changing

I’ve traded my final smiles for a rock and a rush.. Shooting my veins for death at thirty five. last chance to steal a detox from the county cause Everyone knows government checks don’t bounce. Instead I wanna follow the needles of street lights all the way to winter haven Fla. Pittsburgh Dirt tells me the sun there melts your skin Maybe I can drip on top of a burnt spoon, And all the sick junkies can draw me through their cottons.. I’d do it you know, be a martyr, No more mom’s dreaming, then touching caskets. I wish I knew who crawled through my ear and blanketed my conscience. Sarah R couldn’t uncover it, and she was 5-7 with C’s and a fastball. Her prays linger, bounce off the ceiling fans arms. Expectations hang framed on my bedroom wall, It reads university of Pittsburgh. My four cornered nightmare. Do they still believe I can stop, forever, I cant; fathom a month.. Blood actually runs clean through me today, but that doesn’t change desire My purpose is to fade into my bed, cautionary tale. The only question left is who will write the end.