Earl Schumacker Poet Rhyme

Naked Coffee Shock

Naked Coffee Shock

So.   It’s early Sunday morning in DC
Visiting my locale Mickey D’s
I’m not too bright about anything
Simply wanting a cup of Joe
Before I go to church
The help as usual is friendly and polite
(Some say they’re not but that’s alright)
2 ugly men walked in behind me
Clearly they were there to sin
Both had no clothes on so things went south
They were erect
(and I don’t mean posture or the building of a house)
I averted my eyes at the appropriate moment
These are hard times and getting harder
Not wanting to be party to this depravity and crime 
I tried to leave but…. Never mind…
 “Reach for the sky!”  The nude men shouted                      
Then struck up a conversation
(I thought this was salacious and unkind)
So.   I geared up my stronger serious mind
Became sophisticated and refined
I told them they are in the wrong place and time
Informed them the church is close to here 
If they were so inclined I’d take them there  
Repentance is a goodly and Godly thing
“Ridiculous!”  They cried 
They wanted more than a house of God
It was the apple pies they so desired
I told them they looked silly and kinda dumb
Reminded them they had no guns (obviously, they were naked)
There was no way to fake it
The only thing they threatened were some smiles 
So.  The manager told them there are no pies
And sizing up the situation, continued
“Can’t either of you read?”
The sign is clearly posted
“Shoes are required”  
You are not properly attired 
So kindly leave

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