My Total Pain
Poems request that I be authentic.
I am unsure my pen can take it.
I live life as an emotional sayer,
but should I now reveal each layer
my blood will spill upon this paper.
I have sought to give life tender smiles
while enduring heart wrenching trials.
I have glued events found fragile
into some matter I can handle.
I have not once run or pretended,
or taken pain and tried to bend it,
for one truth grew – my Father sent it.
To have peace, I must befriend it
or, God forgive, I must end it.
One small second is all powerful
and all it took to destroy all I knew.
It did not eclipse past tears lived thru,
but forever altered pain’s known hue.
Here I am, at the mid-century mark
searching out a new life for my heart.
Such desires are not easily caught.
The universe bruised, we constantly fought.
Life injures, it will hurt and blister.
Then there is joy, the sweetest kisser,
and for that I am still prompted on,
longing for fear-notes to leave my song.
Sadness revealed my spiritual soul,
took it thru hell to achieve its goal.
Each hurt is a small grain of my total pain,
so raw and brave behind my human name.
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