My Total Pain


Poems request that I be authentic. I am unsure my pen can take it. I live life as an emotional sayer, but should I now reveal each layer my blood will spill upon this paper. I have sought to give life tender smiles while enduring heart wrenching trials. I have glued events found fragile into some matter I can handle. I have not once run or pretended, or taken pain and tried to bend it, for one truth grew – my Father sent it. To have peace, I must befriend it or, God forgive, I must end it. One small second is all powerful and all it took to destroy all I knew. It did not eclipse past tears lived thru, but forever altered pain’s known hue. Here I am, at the mid-century mark searching out a new life for my heart. Such desires are not easily caught. The universe bruised, we constantly fought. Life injures, it will hurt and blister. Then there is joy, the sweetest kisser, and for that I am still prompted on, longing for fear-notes to leave my song. Sadness revealed my spiritual soul, took it thru hell to achieve its goal. Each hurt is a small grain of my total pain, so raw and brave behind my human name.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

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Dietrich Avatar
January 28, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Sorry I never saw this before, dear Caycay. I sure do love that line about joy, the sweetest kisser! One last soupie for you. have sent at least four already
Junaid Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 6:08 AM
I absolutely love your poem, CayCay. It takes courage to be this brave. I can tell these lines are from the heart. May God Bless you.
Wolf Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Amazing write, CayCay, as you wing your way through the agony and ecstasy of the journey that is life. Bravo!! ~ Gershon
Rodgers Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Dear CayCay, O' such raw vulnerability in wrestling with authenticity through poetry is truly moving. I liked how the tension between "blood spill on paper" and "sweetest kisser" of joy captures life’s duality beautifully. CayCay your courage to confront pain while clinging to hope reveals a true authentic voice. Cathartically power and gift to us readers. Spring Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel
Gasun Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 2:57 AM
You've expressed creatively well your emotions on this superb poem my dear poet friend Caycay. I see you're a strong woman with strong faith to go through the many pains my dear. You're a fighter and you can get through on those hurts. Thanks for sharing this very inspiring wonderful piece. God bless you always, your family and your wonderful poetic talent. Hugs
Buhagiar Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Sweet Cay Cay, get down from the clouds. We all prefer you here.
Godwin Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 12:23 AM
This is a deep, personal, write, penned from my core, but written over a decade ago. I just never posted it until I saw the contest, it immediately came to mind. CayCay
Daniel Avatar
March 12, 2025 at 11:07 PM
You are very brave to write about this, CayCay:) hope you find some comfort in your strong faith:) prayers and hugs:)
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