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My Reason

The candles dance alive Celebrated by our circle All segments were five The birthday song we sheepishly sing As I smile thanking my everything

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Just That Archaic Poet

Date: 9/13/2013 10:27:00 AM

This is an interesting piece, and I liked it. I would like to make a few suggestions that I think would help make it even better: in line one, what about " Again the candles dance alive" (lends some length and is still relevant considering we all have birthdays each year). And what about "Every segment thus were five" (again, adds length) and for the last line, "While I smile, thank everything" (it evens things out a bit). Only trying to be helpful and in no way harsh. I see a lot of you in me

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 3/1/2011 8:57:00 AM

Enjoyed this poem Ryan. God Bless Phyl