My Mother

I'm sick of the broken promises and open lies. I could give you a million tries. But the truth is you'll never change. But my life you want me to rearrange. I'm grown and I'm not dumb. You choose everyone else and leave me numb. It's been this way for over 20 years. I still feel pain, but no longer do I shed tears. You tell me I only call when I'm in need. But that's not it I'm just sick of the lying feed. When you call you talk to everyone else in the back. And when I tell you how I feel, compassion is what you lack. You tell me that your doing well. But when I talk about my success and goals, you dont care, I can tell. Instead you find a way to tear me down. No wonder I dont want to be around. Is it bad, that I dont miss you like you say you miss me? Or is it that, the relationship I want, I've realized will never be? Instead you support someone who's doing nothing. But that person is the only one in your life that really means something. I can never amount to what you want, but in my head I know I'm better off here. Because deep down I feel like you dont care. But this you'll never try to understand. Even if I explain I'll get a reprimand. You beg me to come back home closer to you. But that will cause anxiety, sorry but its true. You didnt come see me then, you dont come see now. Your behavior towards me how can I endow. When I have a family of my own. You'll be the grandmother so of course you'll be know. But dont plan on coming In my life that late of time. Because you should have been there fulltime. Remember a relationship goes both ways. If I stopped trying it's because you never tried even back in the days. I used to call but then the open lies and broken promises were there. So from this point on not having you around is no fear.