Mimi Machakaire | + Follow Poet |
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My Mind, Confused

My mind says no but my heart says yes
Is an old timely excuse, I must confess 
But I now finally understand why one uses this
To explain their perfidy while they remain in bliss 
I try by all means, to remain faithful to one 
But another comes along and just makes the matter that more fun 
She came in, her intentions at first I did not know 
My life already unstable, my mind began to flow 
The way she entered, graceful with one thought in her mind this I knew 
I could tell she was a virgin and at this my mind flew 
But she was willing to willing….to be caught within my embrace 
And I could not resist the temptation as I saw - longing written on her face 
Although she was only but a child of sixteen and I was much older 
Her maturity drew me near and things, were far less colder 
I resisted for as long as I possibly could 
But she persisted and there I stood 
Helpless in her man eater ways 
And I suddenly “forgot” what my wife would say 
If she ever saw me in the hands of another 
If she ever saw me caught beneath the covers 
I knew she would be distraught, saddened by my act 
For thus far she has remained flawless, faithful within our pact 
But still I allowed my unforgiveable desires to grow stronger 
I ignored all moral sense and could resist, no longer
We stayed together that night
And she was indeed quite a sight 
For a virgin I was impressed and questioned that innocence I assumed she once had 
But I brushed the thought, for the feeling I shared for her and with her was not bad 
I promised myself that I would not let myself go astray yet again 
But her scent now lingers, in my sheets, forever stained
I held her close, as she slumbered and was thankful that my wife was not within my domain 
And was admittedly fearful for her pain 
If she ever knew that I was this way
The same way I was with her to another on this day 
Her heart would break as this truth continuously swam within my thoughts 
She must never know but I did not know how to avoid being caught 
However despite my worry, I woke up the next morning…… as if she had not been with me 
That is when my conscious finally fell with a thud as I wondered how I would be free 
I then heard someone enter through my door 
Her voice called as my stomach fell with my conscious to the floor 
I braced myself knowing what I must now say 
My mind grew darker as she made her way 
As I saw her face, smiling and the ignorance blissful in her eyes 
I could not bring myself to let her know of the burden hidden beneath my disguise 
I will relieve myself of this guilt, this act of duplicity later on in life 
But for now I will enjoy my time with her and be thankful that she is still my wife

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