My Friend 78UZ
78UZ came to this planet in the year 1953
Learned our ways, and learned to drink our disgusting Irish tea
How can she still be living? Neighbors asked wondering at this.
But most of them have gone out now, leaving bodies with a hiss.
Before they left, 78UZ had to pretend to use the toilet pink
Because there was a window peeker, his name was Mr. Brink.
She would sit on the toilet, pretending to read a magazine.
Satisfying Brink’s need to see if her habits were tidy and clean.
She had a different look at home, for she took off her human suit.
She never burped, or spit or wailed, never gave out a gassy toot.
For she was a machine, neat and sharp from Planet Zy703
I know all about her because I learned her secrets in 1963.
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