My Final Choice
Lying here,
Trying not to think of you
The more i try,
The more i do
Tossing and turning
Staring into darkness for hours
Why do i love you much?
Why do i give you so much power?
Though you're hundreds of miles away
I've learned the distance,
It only increases the pain
Full moon tonight,
Seeping through my windows
Trying to hold me, comfort me...
Like it knows
I wonder if you see the moon,
If you ever think of me
Is it trying to hold you too,
Are you asleep?
Does it tell you my secrets,
The ones involving you
How about my regrets,
It knows those too
No wonder i cant sleep,
My mind won't shut down
The lights too bright,
Far too many sounds
I could close the curtains,
Pretend i don't hear
But then sleep could come,
And it's my dreams i fear
Night time is the hardest,
Because I'm completely alone
Even so, I welcome the darkness
No one can see me cry...but the moon
I've had many reasons to cry,
But I'd forgotten how to
A wrong decision made,
Now that's all i do
Makeup hides dark circles,
A tear streaked face
I can't hid the regret,
Or feelings of disgrace
I thought i loved him you know?
That's why he was my choice
I still thought of your touch
Your sarcastic, soothing voice
He did make me happy...
Most of the time
But something was missing
I knew what it was...just kept lying
Sleep might take over,
Maybe I'll give in
Moon's moved out of vision,
All i can hear is the wind
I imagine i hear footsteps
Long strides that belong to you
But the more i strain to hear them,
The more i realize they aren't true
I wish i could make you remember
Remember how you use to feel
I don't know if you loved me
Whatever it was, i know it was real
I let him go,
And took your bait
Realized i love you...still,
I'm too late
Sleep is taking over,
Drowning me in its grip
Trying to stay above water,
Maybe I'll just give in
Sleeping means to dream
That's the one place you always are
You love me there, but I'm trying to forget
And this makes it too damn hard
There, you touch me like you once did
You remind me of your lips
You hold me like you'll never let go
Then i wake up...and you did
I'm almost there now, falling so slow
Into your arms...only here
You'll never let me go
There you are
I can hear your voice
You have been..and always will be
My final choice
Copyright © Angela Carpenter | Year Posted 2011
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