My Crucifixion

My Crucifixion 

One of a few regrets, I face my mortality
Time spent in dissension, self imposed exile
I face my God, drop in prayer asking for reprieve
My penance; life, my sentence; life
In what else can I believe

Judge, jury, and executioner
Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion
I see things that most do not want to see
Blood on my hands
My own blood from my own crucifixion
Feeling things that most do not want to feel 

I’m facing demons, living nightmares 
As I am forced to look inside at the real me
Who I was, who I am, different yet the same
Fighting through the battles, torn and scarred
The only way to get over the shame

We all make mistakes, admitting it or not
I too was only created in an image
Falling short, falling hard, bottomless abyss
Truly sorry for the paths that I may have strayed
For the monsters I’ve created

Still I have become my judge, my jury, and my own 
executioner
Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion 
Seeing things that I don’t want to see
Judge, jury, and executioner
Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion
Feeling things that I don’t want to feel
Blood on my hands
My own blood from my own crucifixion
Believing things that I don’t want to believe,
And all in the name of repentance...

Bless me father for I have sinned,
With my first breath of life I became tied to you
With a never-ending need for forgiveness
Always sorry for the very way of the world

As if through death I could enact a change...
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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