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Muse

fates evil grip holds my heart yet i knew from the start if i to have one moments kiss a piece of me would not exist elusive memories to far to touch age's mournful whip will draw blood you stole my life my breath that day only to mount it in a frame on stretched canvas is were it lies my love for you i dare not show is on display and still unknown unknown to all but you and i a forbidden truth that we must hide an untouched love not yet broke blinded by an uneven yoke one strike two strike, i just can't bear that of simple logic is never fair if you can not love than what am i to you please don't tell me, i'm just your muse

Copyright © | Year Posted 2005




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Date: 1/29/2009 5:10:00 PM
"too far to touch" "a forbidden truth we must hide" ..that is not necessary & weakens the line..that of is also not needed. very nice RHYMING verse heart/start..kiss/exsist.. day/frame (both a sounds) broke/yoke..bear/fair..you can work a bit on it and make the rhyme clearer ..the mind picture is clear/ good concept Light & Love Debbie
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