Monotonous Black

The pain I've felt this past year Makes me wonder how I made it to here The pain and the tears --- built up in shame Go for a lot of one person to blame The pieces of my heart ripped to shreds This current life I've bled and I've bled I've lost a lot and gained absolutely nothing back Like my world is miserable and completely caked in black The stars in the sky --- shine no more This life I lead on repeat --- constant horror The sheltered human race --- so unintelligent and so small Nobody will ever be there to constantly catch your fall Truly alone, exquisite, and so very bleak Very rarely will you ever find what your passionate soul seeks Sinister darkness --- and an invisible way Dance shadows around you --- beckoning to play 3:30am --- the blistering evil thickens around Jumping and shaking with every sound Paranoid whispers --- tales of the old Shuttering and shaking in this poisonous cold My breath swirls crispy in front of my nose Curiously wandering deep inside --- where nobody ever goes Evil and laughing the sounds turn your back But once again you turn around --- and there's nothing but monotonous black The voices and whispers curse you in vain Looking for somebody to always point the blame Waves of the visions of places you see Will never again, ever again --- be The Earth it crumbles under your feet Searching for something you know you'll never seek Frustrated and shunned you want to cry And deep inside --- you want to die Inside your soul grows smaller and dim Lost your way once again to him Separate and confused you try to ignore it and live But absolutely can not without the lessons he gives Scared and confused --- lost and distraught The way he knows you can be --- you are not Giving up from conflicted pain of the past Nothing --- for me --- ever is good enough to last So here I dwindle and disintegrate in despair Waiting weak and exhausted --- 'til I can be there...