Monotonous Black
The pain I've felt this past year
Makes me wonder how I made it to here
The pain and the tears --- built up in shame
Go for a lot of one person to blame
The pieces of my heart ripped to shreds
This current life I've bled and I've bled
I've lost a lot and gained absolutely nothing back
Like my world is miserable and completely caked in black
The stars in the sky --- shine no more
This life I lead on repeat --- constant horror
The sheltered human race --- so unintelligent and so small
Nobody will ever be there to constantly catch your fall
Truly alone, exquisite, and so very bleak
Very rarely will you ever find what your passionate soul seeks
Sinister darkness --- and an invisible way
Dance shadows around you --- beckoning to play
3:30am --- the blistering evil thickens around
Jumping and shaking with every sound
Paranoid whispers --- tales of the old
Shuttering and shaking in this poisonous cold
My breath swirls crispy in front of my nose
Curiously wandering deep inside --- where nobody ever goes
Evil and laughing the sounds turn your back
But once again you turn around --- and there's nothing but monotonous black
The voices and whispers curse you in vain
Looking for somebody to always point the blame
Waves of the visions of places you see
Will never again, ever again --- be
The Earth it crumbles under your feet
Searching for something you know you'll never seek
Frustrated and shunned you want to cry
And deep inside --- you want to die
Inside your soul grows smaller and dim
Lost your way once again to him
Separate and confused you try to ignore it and live
But absolutely can not without the lessons he gives
Scared and confused --- lost and distraught
The way he knows you can be --- you are not
Giving up from conflicted pain of the past
Nothing --- for me --- ever is good enough to last
So here I dwindle and disintegrate in despair
Waiting weak and exhausted --- 'til I can be there...
Copyright © Holly Knoles | Year Posted 2014
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