Momma Said

Land sakes alive what you been into child. The sun is hot but the wind is mild. My nose itches, Someone’s coming with a hole in their britches. Haven’t seen you in a coon’s age. A hooting and hollering like an injun’s raid. I’m fair ta middlin’can’t complain too much. Barely getting along. Maybe just a touch. Cooped up like chickens. Driving me up a wall. Just living hand to mouth. Ain’t he got some gall. How y’all fairin’ my tail is a dragging. It’s hotter’n Hades my tongue is a wagging. Ain’t that just the way. Well bless your heart. Your pea picking soul. Worse than a popcorn fart. Let the chips fall. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Keep your chin up. Rome wasn’t built in a day. In for a penny, in for a pound. Like a dog in heat always sniffing around. Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile. Looking all fat and sassy with a turd eating smile. Keep on crying, I’ll give you something to cry about. Close your barn door before the horse gets out. Uncle Sam is sure enough bleeding us dry. Because I said so…that’s why!