Nikki Reynolds | + Follow Poet |
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Mindfulness of Fear

Way up or way down, there's no in between
My mind takes everything to the extreme
Say you just don't get it, well neither do I
I don't know when, how or why

Educate me, medicate me, just let me be
From my own demons I will never be free
Am I crazy or just lazy, can't seem to get out of bed,
bad thoughts making their way through my messed up head

I hate this feeling but I'm not in control
It taunts me, haunts me and eats at my soul
Fear rushes in and takes charge of my thoughts
My brain magnifies all of my faults

I dwell on the evil that this world holds
The good seems so small and the bad so bold
The anxiety is overwhelming at times like this
Lord if only I had one wish

I'd wish for a switch to turn off my brain,
to let me rest and remain somewhat sane
Like an accomplished author I can write it all down
but when I open my mouth it's a pathetic sound

You never see this side of me
I do my best to hide it you see
Coming off tough comes with a price
"Wow her mom died and she didn't even cry"

Compassion for myself maybe I lack, 
but if it happens to you then I'll have your back
For I will know just how you feel
How hard it will be for you to deal

I dwell on the pain that others endure
I feel for those who are insecure
Sometimes to the point that I feel I'll break
Just knowing there's no difference that I can make

I write these words as a form of relief,
so maybe at night I can go to sleep
Be kind to one another and do what you can 
Take the time to lift up your fellow man

Kindness doesn't usually cost a thing
Be generous with any comfort you can bring
Live in the moment and you will find
that things work out best when you are kind

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