Message Lost

This internal conflict I cannot fight This is not black and white This unreasoned spite I cannot get through I have tried This message lost too, lost in the deep wide Two forces collide, the pieces scattered far and wide Years to track down what mattered This restless angry sea throws its might at me Waves of emotion Seething ocean What can I repair? This loss of tranquillity It is so unfair! Am I losing my sensibility? Is this damage done? Have I lost a son? Has the restless angry sea won? The lost message, floating on angry restless sea It must be me The things I might have done, to make me think Before I sink Before my son I cannot get through He won't let me too Rising sea, beating its waves on me This storm must stop I am ready to drop Seething sea, throwing its'self at me Waves of emotion Restless ocean This conflict I cannot fight, peace is a right This restless angry sea, upon storm tossed message that is me