Me Without My Rifle, I Am Nothing
Metal never pierced flesh or bones
Ligaments weren’t shattered in dashing haste
Not decorated with purple stones
For my heart hid from that waste
Sand and fear my tongue still taste
Born to die in hellish fire
Infernal flame, spirit crushed ready for
Assured last breath, in deathly mire
I shut down and lay in war
Thoughts race, scream and roar
I’m afraid
Escaped the valley of abyss
Return to applauds and cheers
All is well they claim and hiss
But I’m clothed in heavy years
In stormy sands, all's unclear
Did I cease to be?
So much loss for what was fought
My humanity
Walking dead in thought
Wilting heart was caught
Won’t let most too close
Then they’d see
Moisture trails that only froze
Can’t contain the mine that bleeds
Vulnerable to evil Deeds
So I pretend to feel
Watch as they laugh and sing
Being human taught to kill
Focused on how to life they cling
Waiting for my time to spring
What am I without my rifle
To do what I was trained
Taking life was mere trifle
Do I cease to be again
Letting go of this friend
But how, but how
I was raised to end life
For those I loved with strong vows
For those who don’t know strife
We were sacrificed
Letting go, the roaring sea
Placing weapon down, reaching honesty
I lay with peace and feel the touch of God
Emerge from that desperate fog
I see as a child
Staked rifle down for the vine to grow awhile
I am clean
All is not what it seemed
Copyright © Ernest Martinez | Year Posted 2015
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