Love and Understanding

I was in love once with a beautiful, young girl. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was true. She was cute, funny, and seemed happy in the world, But I never saw her life from her point of view. I knew, as a child, that she was always quite ill And that she had to learn to give herself injections. She had such courage and an amazing strength of will. She just moved forward, no matter her body’s rejections. Spending lots of time with her, I thought I knew her quite well. We were really good friends, but I hoped for more, someday. I guess I never truly broke through her outer shell. There was so much of her that she kept hidden away. I never would tell her exactly how I did feel. I guess I was afraid that she didn’t feel the same way. Deep down, I think she knew that my feelings for her were real, But she was always able to, somehow, keep them at bay. After high school, we still managed to keep in touch, Although we had both moved away to somewhere new. I missed seeing her and I missed her friendship so much. As time went on, “someday” became very distant, too. Finally, I decided to move to where she lived. We talked about it and it seemed like a good plan. But when I got there, she had nothing but fear to give. I saw her for a brief moment, then got back in the van. I wanted to move on, but I just had to know why. Why was it that she didn’t even want to see me? I didn’t get an answer until several weeks went by. She called me up and tried to open my eyes and see. She said that, on the phone, it sounded like a good thing, But that when I got there, moving that fast scared her. It just wasn’t what she was really expecting, Having someone move across the country just for her. I understood, moved on, and continued with my life. We kept in touch for a while, a little here and there. I knew then that she would never become my wife, But I think that her reason was more than being scared. We had completely lost touch and after ten years went by, I think I knew why she didn’t want to fall in love. She knew that her life would be cut short and wanted to try To save ME the pain of losing her after falling in love.