Lost

Flashes of memories and thoughts whirl around in my head until I can't take it anymore I don’t know what's worse; memories of us together or the reality of him being dead Laying together in a pile of leaves walking in the rain making a mess instead of making cookies long talks deep into the night feeling wanted and knowing that I mattered Lying alone in the park crying in the shower not eating for long stretches of time cutting myself off from family and friends feeling lost and empty inside.