Pam Deremer Poet Lyric

Looking Back

It's been 10 years today since you stood here with me.
Looking back now I realize I just couldn't see.
The pain and the torment you carried inside.
There was nowhere left to run and nowhere to hide.

Can we please spend sometime...just you and me
and try to recapture how things use to be.
We'd laugh till we cried...but it wasn't enough.
Sometimes looking back is more than just tough.

My focus back then was a yard of perfection.
It's funny how events can cause a correction.
The yard that I then took so much pride in,
I now find that I frequently hide in.

Can we please spend sometime...just you and me
and try to recapture how things use to be.
We'd laugh till we cried...but it wasn't enough.
Sometimes looking back is more than just tough.

The hours went by...he was so calm and patient
Tomorrow would be his birthday celebration.
He gave me a hug...just out of the blue. 
I was caught so off guard I didn't know what to do.

Can we please spend sometime...just you and me
and try to recapture how things use to be.
We'd laugh till we cried...but it wasn't enough.
Sometimes looking back is more than just tough.

We had his 27th birthday at our house that year.
When it was over, he asked me quite clear. Would you want to
come over to spend time with me...
we could watch movies, eat, or just shoot the breeze.
I said not today, they'll be plenty more chances.
I felt sorta bad as I saw his sad glances.

Can we please spend sometime...just you and me
and try to recapture how things use to be.
We'd laugh till we cried...but it wasn't enough.
Sometimes looking back is more than just tough.

The next day the world stopped as our son passed away.
What went through his mind is so hard to say.
His voice it rings out everyday of the year...give your love first 
and you may never hear...

Can we please spend sometime...just you and me
and try to recapture how things use to be.
We'd laugh till we cried...but it wasn't enough.
Sometimes looking back is more than just tough.

                                      P.R.Deremer

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Cori Wunderlin October 21, 2015 at 10:08 PM Pam, It is hard to hold back the tears. This is beautiful and painful at the same time and so full of reality. I remember the rainbow that filled the sky in his coming and going. I remember the love that never ends. Your right sometimes looking back is more than just tough. But those same eyes will remember the joy, laughter & special love shared! You are such a blessing.....and your son is smiling and always with you. He is proud of who you have always been to so many who know & love you Pam Deremer October 22, 2015 at 12:47 PM What a wonderful comment! Thank you.

Cecilia Macfarlane October 21, 2015 at 11:50 AM Pam, a lovely heartfelt write that is felt deeply....so sorry for your loss, he is now your guardian angel watching over you always. Hugs Pam Deremer October 21, 2015 at 12:12 PM Thank you very much for your comment!

Joan Donnelly Ellis October 21, 2015 at 9:10 AM Beautifully penned Pam. Pam Deremer October 21, 2015 at 12:13 PM Thank you very much!

Lee Brownlee September 29, 2015 at 7:54 PM That is so beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. It really helps to write beautiful poetry recalling beautiful times of the past. I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks. Pam Deremer September 30, 2015 at 3:10 PM Thank you for your comment.

Cherl Dunn September 28, 2015 at 5:39 PM Dear Pam Simply put inspirational and full of the grace of faith thank you for sharing this one with us here on the soup, cheri Pam Deremer September 28, 2015 at 7:32 PM Thank you for your very nice comment!

Pat Davis September 25, 2015 at 12:32 AM Oh Pam, this memory still breaks my heart. Thank the Lord we will see him again and spend wonderful time together. :( Pam Deremer September 25, 2015 at 11:18 AM yes it does. nothing worse.