Lifes' cards

Life's a deck of cards, fate’s unsteady hand, And I hold the joker, at life's command. For every joy, a shadow falls, A dance of highs, and sudden stalls. One moment I'm laughing, a heart full of glee, Next, I'm crying, despair captures me. Happiness fleeting, sadness its twin, A battle within, where to begin? Depression’s grip, a slowing tide, Time crawls, and shadows hide. In my mind, it digs so deep, Thoughts entwined, no restful sleep. Would life be easier if I were gone? An empty void where memories drawn. How can they love, when inside I'm lost, A shipwreck in waiting, not yet tossed? I see their smiles, their endless grace, My kids, step-kids, partner’s embrace. Why do I deserve their light and love? They're the stars, the moon above. They keep my heart ticking, steady and true, But I fear my shadows dampen their view. I wish I were well, to run, to play, To laugh with them, in a carefree way. So here I stand, the joker in hand, Balancing life on shifting sand. But know this, my love holds strong, For them, I fight, where I belong.