Life Begins At Forty
UUUUUHhhhhh!!!!!
I woke up this morning to find I am bald,
Wear glasses and only 5foot 7 tall.
Me bodies out of shape and what is more,
Me bits are all shrivelled, scaly and small.
Who the hell says life begins at forty,
I’m a blind, toothless bald headed shorty.
Which woman is going to throw themselves at me,
She will have to be blond and rely on a dog to see.
I walk up the stairs and stop half way,
Me hearts pumping mad saying “lets call it a day.”
Me **** started making these terrible smelly sounds,
And parts of me body are having a race, the first to touch the ground.
I now need Viagra to turn me into a yup
Or scaffolding under to prop me bits up
Foreplay is leave me teeth in the glass
The climax of me sex life is squeezing a pimple on me ass
Oh youth where art thou,
You left me in a mess.
I look in the mirror and cuss with every breath,
I’ve turned into an obese belch farting sow.
And they say life begins at forty, with a body like this tell me how?
** It has been brought to my attention that I should not have used "blond" so if you are blond please change it in your mind to blind, thank you :-)
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