Lies To Save the World From Myself

I sit here and count all of the things I lied about, all of the things I told people. “It’s okay” when I meant “It hurts.” “I understand” when I meant “Why is it like this?” “I’ll tell you if I need something” when I meant “I’ll wait for you to ask me.” “I’m getting better.” when I meant “My world is falling apart and I’m in the center.” “Her happiness is way more important” when I meant “You said I mattered too, so why is talking something we aren’t going to do anymore?” “I promise to tell you.” when I meant “Telling you that I did it again hurt when you still wanted to talk, why would I tell you when you don’t want my problems anymore?” “I’ll never do it again.” when I meant “Tonight, it will happen again but you’ll have no clue.”