Just Let Me Grieve

The fondness and affection which I always came to give, Has now gone away, simply ceases to exist, My mind is now contained by a deep and heavy mist- Cant concentrate on others, nothing more I have to give, My troubles are now amplified as I proceed to live My sister stopped me grieving pushing to sell my home, Her deep seated bitterness is apparent in her tone Making plans behind my back which has caused me much dismay Her plans of spending money that will eventually come her way I don’t feel the security of having family now The sister connection ended and now one I wont allow Sick of the pretence and conversation hiding what should be said Her only ability to understand real life came from something that she read Dad is no longer with this world neither is my mother Before mum and I could always rely on one another. I fear the inner dark thoughts that remain from my losses Morbidly aware we all bare our crosses its all out of my control which invokes Hatred I feel the explosion of uncontrollable feelings are real fine line breaks quickly between love and hate am I now on the right path written from fate? past relationships were fickle I falsely gave love to all ive created a callous inner wall scared I cant love and alone I feel only enjoying intoxication to mask what is real Life teaches lessons that are not written anywhere Choices decisions and mistakes are ours to bear Endlessly trying to focus my attention to hope To remain so strong and continue to cope.