Jingle Bell Blues
Title: "Jingle Bell Blues"
(To the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
Verse 1:
Dashing through the store,
On a frantic holiday,
Grabbing gifts galore,
In a checkout line ballet.
Lights are burning bright,
Tinsel’s everywhere,
Oh, what fun it is to fight
For the last plush teddy bear!
Chorus:
Jingle bells, sales from hell,
Credit cards take flight,
Oh, what pain it is to shop
On a Christmas Eve night!
Jingle bells, wallets swell,
Budgets out of sight,
Oh, we’ll eat just ramen cups
Until the next July!
Verse 2:
Baking burnt fruitcake,
Cookies taste like coal,
Grandma says it’s great,
But her eyes betray her soul.
Kids unwrap their toys,
Battery-free and sad,
“Next year, Santa, bring me joy,
Or just a shiny iPad!”
Chorus:
Jingle bells, stories tell,
Family drama’s rife,
Oh, Aunt Sue and Uncle Lou
Rehash their warring strife.
Jingle bells, tattle tells,
Santa’s list is tight,
Oh, he’ll skip the naughty homes
And keep his sleigh in flight!
Bridge:
Oh, but still we smile and cheer,
Through the chaos and the din,
For Christmas brings that magic near,
Where love is tucked within.
Final Chorus:
Jingle bells, laughter swells,
Hearts are warm tonight,
Oh, what joy it is to share
This season’s shining light!
Jingle bells, no farewell,
Keep the spirit bright,
Oh, we’ll hum this Christmas tune
Until the next year’s sight!
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